My "It Girl" Aesthetic

There is a lot of talk about what makes an “It Girl” these days and most of what I am seeing I disagree with. I wanted to create my own list of things that for me give a woman that "It" quality.

These are the qualities or habits I see in the women I admire, gravitate towards, want to spend time with, and want to be myself. It’s not about wearing certain clothes or makeup, having the right bag or sunglasses, or being a certain level of attractive. It’s about how we carry ourselves, the choices we make, and the ways we interact in the world.

To me, being an It Girl means radiating confidence, having a sense of inner peace, leaning into the things and people we love, and being a decent human being.

Here is the list of attributes and characteristics that for me makes someone an It Girl.

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Self-confidence that radiates from within

Being confident is one of the best ways to make people notice you in a positive way and think of you as having that “it” quality. Knowing who you are, being self-assured, and loving yourself are some of the most powerful traits that make someone an It Girl. An It Girl is not worried about other people’s opinions that don’t matter, she is not comparing herself to others, and she is not trying to be like someone else. She is owning everything that makes her her and enjoying the life she is creating for herself.

When you have that kind of confidence it radiates outward and it immediately makes you the type of person people naturally gravitate towards. Confidence is an extremely attractive quality in a person and it is easy to be around someone who is not trying to convince you to like them.

Being kind to others

The way we treat others says a lot about ourselves and being a jerk is just not a good look. Kindness shows a warm and caring heart which is something every lovely woman possesses. You could be the most outwardly gorgeous, well dressed woman on the planet but if you don’t treat others with kindness that immediately makes you less attractive to everyone around you.

It Girls treat others well. They don’t walk around acting like they are better than other people. They don’t talk down to others. They aren’t rude to people in service positions. They aren’t trying to compete with other women around them. It Girls wear kindness as if it were a wardrobe staple you couldn’t leave the house without.

Wearing clothes you already own that make you feel confident and comfortable

Wearing things you like and feel confident in is so much more important than being on trend. A girl who walks around with self-confidence looks great no matter what her clothes look like. I also think there is something so appealing about a woman who can go into her closet and find something to wear for any occasion and doesn’t need to run to the store any time an event comes up.

For years I have worked on building a wardrobe full of pieces I love and feel good in so I no longer have that feeling of looking in my closet and thinking “I have nothing to wear.” Now when I look in my closet I have so many good options it can be hard to choose what I wear!

This took time and trial and error over the years to develop my personal style, find pieces that will last a long time, and clothing items that I gravitate towards when choosing an outfit. As I’ve gotten older my style has become more classic and timeless which means that I don’t have to buy new clothes every season because I am not trying to keep up with trends.

Not copying what everyone else is wearing

As I said above, a woman who walks around with self-confidence looks great no matter what she wears.

I have a dear friend who taught me this lesson without even realizing it! She has her own unique style and vibe and always looks so cool and cute without really trying. Even though what she wears is unique to her and not necessarily the style of the season, she always looks good because she wears her personal style with confidence and totally rocks whatever she has on. She could wear pretty much anything and I would see it and think, “Wow, she looks so cool! Maybe I should try a similar outfit,” and it is all because she owns it and has self-confidence.

Finding your style and owning it regardless of whether it is the look of the season or not allows you to be unique and not just another girl who copy and pasted her outfit from someone else online.

Finding high quality pieces at a thrift store

I think there is something so cool about women who buy pieces second-hand instead of spending tons of money on brand new clothing. Personally I LOVE thrifting and get so excited when I score a great find. It is definitely an art form and it takes a little time to get good at it, but once you have the knack it becomes hard to buy anything new ever again.

When you know you could find something just as good (if not way better!) for a lower price at a thrift shop it makes you question paying high prices for new items. This also helps with not wearing the same things everyone else is wearing because at a thrift store you can find unique and vintage pieces that are different from what others are buying.

My top 3 tricks for finding good items in thrift stores are 1) find shops in more affluent areas where people are donating nicer quality items, 2) check stores frequently since the inventory changes often and you never know what you might find, and 3) keep a list on your phone of items you are looking for and start there when you enter a store. (Bonus tip: never skip the men’s section! My favorite button-downs and pullovers always come from there.)

Doing what makes you happy whether or not it is “cool”

This goes along the same lines as wearing clothes you like, but I think finding activities and hobbies you enjoy whether or not they are mainstream is another quality of a confident It Girl. Having passions and interests is such an wonderful quality in a person and it’s fun hearing about what someone else enjoys doing even if it is different from what you like.

Finding joy in the little things

It Girls are able to find joy in the small things in life and love to point them out and share them with others. The beauty of flowers, the way the sunlight dances through the trees, a gorgeous sunset. They make you stop and notice little things that add beauty and light to life. An It Girl doesn’t need everything in her life to be fancy or expensive or special, she finds beauty everywhere she looks and will often work to create that beauty as well.

Spending time outside

I’ve noticed women who spend lots of time outside have this peace and calm about them that is so magnetizing. Something about being in nature, slowing down, and taking a break from the stress of life allows for a different mentality and peace you can’t get from spending all of your time inside looking at screens.

Especially this time of year when the weather is beautiful, I think getting outside and enjoying the world around us makes people happier and more relaxed. Go for a walk, plant flowers, explore a new neighborhood, sit outside at a cafe, have a picnic, read a book… The options are endless. Time outside in the sunshine and fresh air is so important for our well being. Use the warmer months to slow down and savor life a little more.

Reading

There is something so different about reading than watching a show or movie. It captures the imagination in a more powerful way and forces us to slow down and savor the journey. I have nothing against watching something and I enjoy movies and good shows, but all of the It Girls I know also read books. They tell me about what book they have been enjoying lately, which book I just have to read too, and they get caught up in the storylines and characters of a good book the way the author intended. There’s something lovely and quiet and peaceful about reading that enhances the lives of all the It Girls I know.

Not having to be the center of attention

I think one of the most important qualities of an It Girl is someone who doesn’t seek out being the center of attention. She may naturally find herself in that position since she is someone others want to be around and people will likely gravitate towards her orbit, but she is not actively working to be the center of every room.

If it is someone else’s birthday or party she can seamlessly fade into the background with all the other guests. She never tries to draw attention back to herself or do something to make people notice her. She is self-confident so she doesn’t rely on the attention of others to feel good about herself.

Final thoughts on my It Girl aesthetic

While this is not an exhaustive list of every single thing that makes someone an It Girl, to me these are some of the most important qualities and characteristics that makes a woman someone people naturally gravitate towards.

What qualities would you add to your list of an It Girl aesthetic? Tell me in the comments below!

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